Bittersweet As Poison
by Jissai
Summary: "I have magic Arthur...and I have done so many good and terrible things with it." Slash or not is up to the reader.


Warnings: Major Character Death, Suicide, Violence and magic!reveal. slash or not is up to the reader.

Thank you Bailieboro for the awesome beta!

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For one to live, another must die.

The words of the witch and the old religion she mimics, echo in his mind, haunting him until his day comes. It crawls by slowly, Merlin is almost in joyous tears when it finally arrives and the anxiety of waiting is over.

The entire court is present within the castle halls when it happens. A bright, spring day turned dark with magic, as black clouds eat into the bright blue sky. The windows are the first to shatter, the sound of thunder rolling in the throne room and ringing in the crowd's ears, following by a slow wave of mist. Nobles rush towards the doors to find them locked, they flee to the farthest corners.

Arthur is immediately on his feet, hands instinctively unsheathing Excalibur, as the haze simmers to reveal a familiar blemish upon the kingdom.

Merlin is quiet and calm, a serene feeling washing over him_, it is finally happening_…

He is the last to turn around, to witness Morgana standing in the hall. He has expected her for a long time...

Her lips curl upon eye contact, and his stomach churns anxiously as serenity begins to be replaced with anxiety and fear.

He remembers the agreement. He just wished that she had forgotten it...

_"I need your help!"_

_"Is your poor Arthur sick, Merlin?" _

A smile distorted with dagger-like teeth, shows on her features as she eyes him, then the King.

Something within the warlock's stomach drops.

"What is it you want, Morgana?" Arthur's voice booms through the halls.

The clatter of metal bounces off the walls as the knights surround her, only to be tossed aside with a wave of her hand, like an unwanted and broken toy, so easily discarded.

Her green eyes dart back to Merlin's once more, before finding Arthur's. The King's hand grips the hilt of his sword, as Merlin's chest tightens and his insides almost sink to the floor.

"It is not something too complicated, Arthur. Just something…" her eyes find Merlin's again, and an all too familiar smirk plays upon her lips. "...something, which we need to finally settle between the three of us. To clear up a misunderstanding, and reveal a traitor."

The King frowns in confusion, as Merlin almost drowns on the thickening air.

They both remember the deal that was made...the contract.

_"Why would I have the cure?"_

_"Because you are the one who made him sick, Morgana!"_

_"Did you honestly think I would give you the cure, Merlin?"_

He looks towards her almost pleadingly, his conscience reaching out to her for forgiveness, as his knees almost buckle under the pressure. She spares him none. Arthur's eyes catch Merlin's sickly behavior, slowly inching towards him while his sword is out and ready.

The witch's footsteps echo through the hall as she reaches Merlin first, standing before him like a proud conqueress, before a defeated and dead enemy. Her lips curl more, before she acknowledges Arthur's sudden panicked reaction from behind her.

"Leave him alone, Morgana!"

"How much do you trust Merlin, Arthur?" she seethes, words precise and sharp as glass.

'Don't-do-this...Don't-do-this...' he silently begs, closing his eyes. He can feel the King's confusion, and Morgana's silent delight. He almost dies inside hearing the next words.

"...with my life!" Arthur states. Merlin hears him coming cautiously closer, as Morgana is still standing in front of him, within striking range. Not that it will matter for much longer.

_"Yes... I think you will Morgana!" he hinted, "I have something you want."_

_"…oh? And what is that?"_

_"Revenge."_

For a packed throne room, the room is silent save for Merlin's heartbeat in his ears. The cold feeling of long fingers curled around his chin, alert him to her command. It's his turn to speak, this time.

_"My life, for his."_

The words are stuck in his throat.

_"My secret, for him. My honor…"_

Her fingers grip his chin tighter, her sharp claw-like nails drawing blood as she impatiently seethes.

_"And what secret is that, Merlin?" she had inquired._

He takes one deep breath, minutes crawling by like days. The words and guilt from years of suppression bubble and boil to the surface until…

"Leave him alone, Morgana!" the King commands. "He has done nothing to you!

"Yes I have, Arthur!" The words cut off the King instantaneously.

And just like that, Merlin's world topples onto itself, beginning to suck everything he has worked so hard for, into an endless abyss of betrayal. Tears falling, which he only now realizes, he is shedding. A weight is being lifting off his shoulders, while an entirely new one replaces it. He cannot stop the words now, the dam is broken; they spew like torrents of moments, long past but never forgotten.

His eyes open, the world fuzzy for a few moments, before they adjust to the light and sight. Blue eyes find Arthur not far off, and for a moment, it is only the two of them in the crowded throne room.

One more deep breath, and the warlock begins. He fumbles on the words at first, as they are so _treacherous_ on his tongue…

_"I have magic, Morgana…"_

"I have magic, Ar-thur…" Merlin is now shaking.

Morgana smiles daggers, as if she is personally the blade, draining the color from Arthur's face

"I have magic...and I have done so many good and terrible things with it."

Arthur's face is ashen, his hands shaking, before he subsequently composes himself.

Trying to ignore the King's reaction, Merlin continues. Swallowing his fear and guilt, lest he cannot speak at all, he fights against the torrents of memories and confessions that are spewing forth.

"I...I was the one who released the dragon on Camelot years ago. I...I'm the last Dragonlord. I'm so sorry, Arthur, but I cannot help what I was born with!"

The tears fall freely now; they flow down his cheeks onto his lips, his tongue swiping them into his mouth. Teardrops collect around Morgana's fingers which remain firmly holding his chin.

The next words come out in sobs, and the warlock is too distraught within his mind to even hear Arthur's response. All he sees is the King's mouth slightly move to form words as he says, "I...I was the old man who killed your father..."

Merlin does not know what flashes across Arthur's eyes at that point, if it were betrayal, anger, or even if he was about to lunge at him to slit his throat. Morgana jerks his head up towards her before he can see, if he even wants to see...

The witch smiles the most poisonous of smiles as her long, icy fingers hold out to him, a vial of dark liquid, something with which both of them are all too familiar.

_"You are willing to sacrifice yourself for him, Merlin?"_

His fingers wrap around the vial being offered, keeping his gaze on the liquid as it coats the glass. He does not look up...cannot look up to see Arthur. He does not want to see the betrayal in his eyes which he knows must be there. The warlock is almost sure that it would fade in time...but he will never live long enough to see it if it happens.

_"Yes."_

His eyes screw shut, fingers gripping the glass vial tighter. He knows that the agreement they made, '_my life, for his' _willhold, only if he willingly sacrifices himself for Arthur.

Shakily, he uncorks the bottle of poison, and puts it to his lips. The taste is bitter-sweet.

_"Why, Merlin?"_

His focus is the first to go. It feels as if a great cloud envelopes his mind, leaving it almost blank and empty.

His coordination falters, as he is vaguely aware of the empty bottle dropping from his hands and shattering on the floor.

His heart slows.

He opens his eyes, only to find himself already lying on the floor.

_He smiled at her._

He watches her triumphant smile above him slowly being blotted out by black. She won this battle, he thinks, but she will win no more. This will be the last of her victories.

_"We are two sides of the same coin, Morgana. That is something you will never understand."_

...the world fades...

...he never sees the final look on Arthur's face...


End file.
